Musings in Dalmati Szamar cafe

Musings in Dalmati Szamar
Art of Joeralt
22 hr ago
Trying to figure out what to write . At the age of seventy there are so much life experience and so much memories that it is hard to sort out what is important and what is trivial and worth sharing.
Perhaps the most important item that is pressing right now is how to make a living as an artist. There are so many thoughts that are connected with this painful subject and so much conflicting feelings that need to be sorted out.
The most obvious is the feeling of being a looser. Another, is that I am a lousy artist and do not deserve to be paid for my art. Well, maybe not really a loser but a mediocre artist. That’s a real nightmare. I mean, I know I can produce quite a good Art many times and in fact have created enough work that has good enough quality. Some of it was sold actually here and there on different occasions but deep inside I know that it is not really an indication of the quality of an artwork.
Of course, this is where the issue of art and money comes in and since it is a huge subject that requires to enter into the intricacies of how art has become yet another item of commodity to be consumed by the wealthy , so maybe I will leave it for some other time when I am in a more philosophical mood.
I guess this post is going to be just a random brooding on different subjects that are actually are part of my life at this moment.
Since I am new to this platform , this random flow of thinking can be a good introductory to who I am and where I am coming from. Perhaps at some point it will show also where am I going to as well.
Getting old and loosing the grip on my health is becoming a major concern ever since I have become a centennial. Even the thought of it scares me as so may people my age , some of whom were my close friends have passed away. Some are struggling right now of ill health and some are in terminal condition.
I never thought that I will reach this stage where health issues and death will become an issue. I guess the denial of death is the biggest denial of all human denials.
Here is an excellent exposition on this topic by Ernest Becker
Global warming, climate changes and the end of the civilisation as we know it is yet another burning issue that grips my thinking .
The current pandemic situation , the shrinking democracies around the globe, lose of personal freedom, the coming shortages of many of the life basic necessities that we have become so dependent on, are all interacting and circling in my mind leading to feelings of helplessness .
Doing art is perhaps the only place that is left where I feel confident with some solid ground below my feet.
Then, there is the garden. But I will leave this subject to another time as it is a whole new dimension and a special prism trough which I am perceiving my reality at this time of global changes.
Final word. Since English is not my native first language , I am apologising in advance of any grammatical and contextual mistakes.